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| Thursday, 05 November 2009 22:14 |
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YOU HAVE TO wonder if Trinidad & Tobago Minister of National Security Martin “Funnier than Tormy plus Learie”* Joseph is applying for Bajan citizenship. Mr Joseph’s announcement on the last Thursday of October at the post-Cabinet media briefing – it’s not a news conference because no one on the media side ever seems to ask anything, so it’s just to tell them what to write down in the papers or repeat on air, word-for-unquestioned-word –relating to the new machine-readable TT passport has to be treated as a joke; to put it in the Bajan terms to which I suspect he now aspires, Mr Joseph must be “mekkin’ sport” with the TT passport. Yesterday week, and apparently with a straight and/or bold face, Mr Joseph announced the TT Immigration Department had reduced the processing time from application to completion of passports from 54 days initially to 32 days – and not a single firetrucking one of the assembled media bright sparks raised an eyebrow, let alone a protest (I suppose Andy Johnson and Lennox Grant can’t be everywhere, every time).
Encouraged by the success of his first lie, Mr Joseph then said with a broad smile – a clue he was taking the piss, if the words falling from his mouth weren’t enough – the waiting time would soon be reduced to 27 days. Further encouraged by the fact that no one cuffed him down, spat on him, cussed him blue, set fire to or pelted both shoes at him, Mr Joseph jettisoned truth and dignity altogether. Grinning wider than the last ball of the last over of a West Indies T20 pace attack, he said, “At the end of the day, we’ll reach a point where it will only take ten days for machine readable passports.” When the media watchdogs let that one pass, the only wonder is Mr Joseph didn’t immediately continue, “In fact, if you go into town tomorrow morning, you’ll get your passport right away, right over the firetrucking counter. With fries.” Now I happen to have collected my own new machine-readable passport last Friday, (though the issue date on its face is 2nd October). My new passport application was made – in an unusual way, which I will shortly explain – way back on 30th March, giving me the unusually speedy new passport delivery time of only about six months, 155 days by my (admittedly usually poor) count – or roughly five times longer than the time Mr Joseph was boasting about (and three times longer than the 54 days he first lied and said it took). And I got my passport much, much faster than most people. Quite by accident, I managed to shorten what everyone in Trinidad knows is the 18-month to two-year process because my passport was lost on 27th March and I immediately applied for a lost passport replacement. Only because of my particular predicament – a national of TT living in and returning in days to a territory in which there was no embassy – I was granted an immediate lost passport interview, thus sidestepping the ten- to 18-month delay of the “normal” interview date. I know someone who applied in June and was given an interview date in November next year! The Trinidad & Tobago passport predicament is known to all on Sunday**. It has even entered the realms of comedy and international relations. Where do you park when you go to the passport office? Anywhere you want – the streets are completely empty at 3 o’clock in the morning. And the Barbados honorary consul in Trinidad told me personally, for the public record as one of my Flying Fish (see yesterday’s blog), that more and more Trinidadians entitled to Barbadian citizenship are applying for Bajan passports, not to move to St Michael, but just to go shopping in Miami! And it is against this widely known background that Mr Joseph promised a passport in a ten days. Now Mr Joseph could hide behind the arithmetic, if permitted. He may indeed be able to show passports with application dates 32 days prior to issue dates – even if I stand before you, an expedited lost passport replacement applicant whose job was rushed through in a scant 155 days – but how Mr Joseph gets away with the geometry is beyond me. I’ve seen Trinidadians in action so I understand “boldfacity”. I appreciate why a person might stand in front of a group of people and tell a plain lie. I don’t understand the people on the other side going along with the lie; because they are then themselves dishonest. The only context I can think of in which people tell one another a series of out-and-out untruths and have them accepted and returned in kind, is the mating ritual played out in bars and nightclubs. “You’re so beautiful!” “And you’re so clever!” “I want you for your mind!” “And I don’t care if you’re a water-carrier on URP projects!” “I think I could care for you. And your two children by other men.” “I’ve never met a man more perfect!” The trouble is, though, when you have two sides taking this approach, one of them is going to get screwed for sure; the only unknowns are where and when. And when you swallow that kind of lie whole, it can’t be long before another smart-man feels encouraged to tell you he paid $9,000 a square metre for a big Trinidad & Tobago flag. And, if you swallow that next one, wait for someone to tell you it bound to have a concert-halls in the PM house because you cyar expec’ white people to walk in the mud to Queens Hall if rain fall... BC Pires is planning on losing his birth certificate *Basdeo Panday’s joke, not mine – a clear admission to avoid a future embarrassing confession like Father Priest **A joke first made by Derek Walcott in A Dream on Monkey Mountain and another clear admission as above
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  written by Wesley, November 05, 2009
Noting how you have studiously avoided the curse of the plagiarist. (As I type, Talk City 91.1 FM has gone to a reminder of the Play Whe draw in the middle of an exciting over in the match between TT and Guyana). Sometimes we can resist plagiarism but we aren't so successful when it comes to cussing.
 written by DeBigBri, November 06, 2009
True dat, BC. Some might call it disloyal to speak of the ills in one’s own country or region, but it's necessary if one is to raise the consciousness of the people. And surely the people are sleeping? Prefer to think that than to that they’re uncaring. Too many still walk around thinking that government expenditure represents "government money" being spent and don't appreciate that it belongs to us all and perhaps none of us at the same time.
On the educated/world-conscious side, too many still walk around with their insecurities masquerading as superiority on financial terms or educational terms or religious terms or power terms and all the while can't spare genuine thoughts for the real plight of the country. And make no mistake, the people and the land and the sea resources are the country. If you walk around and all is well where you are, firetruck everybody else? As long as I good, yeah, firetruck everybody else. What? Tourists in Tobago are being targeted and murdered? Were they less than innocent? Don’t insinuate it – investigate and bring the proof. Doh say that tourism go suffer and we go look bad. Firetruck dat! It is apparently necessary that we first look bad and let it be known to those in charge that it is unacceptable to us. In Tobago you cannot track down murderers? Tobago? One time in B’dos, it occurred to me that a guy who was splurging in a truly big spender fashion (Champagne for everyone in the club – including strangers), might have drug connections. Whether he did or not is irrelevant. It occurred to me that in a place the size of B’dos, the police must know all the players in the drug trade except the newest. It then struck me that Trinidad was not much bigger than B’dos and so the drug players here must also be known. Ah sure yuh could figure out de res’. BC, find something else tuh write ‘bout, please. Dis situation in Trinidad where arrogance and incompetence mix liberally and give you a politician is unbearable. My buddy and I have been wondering when shoe throwing would catch on in Trinidad. Up and down folks are at least incensed at the $2M flag (+pole doh make it ok!!). And yet the relevant arrogant joker responsible won’t stop trying to justify the unjustifiable. He doesn’t get it. The apologists in our midst don’t get it. Misguided (unguided?) priorities are the problem. There is much in this land that needs fixing. We are not asking for the moon or even for skyscrapers and fancy buildings. We want basic functioning utilities, ground infrastructure, health facilities we can frequent and police who can catch criminals and enforce the law. Anyone who can afford it (timewise and moneywise) will seek private attention or fly out for medical attention rather than face our health care system. To close on the flag thing, by next week it’ll be forgotten and we’ll be firmly focused on the next scandal. We’re a captive audience so I reckon we’ll stay tuned.
 written by Raffique, November 06, 2009
BC, keep on writing fearlessly as you have always done. Passport in 10 days: that man sick from lying--or not knowing his arse from his elbow! My wife has an appointment for sometime in 2010 (made almost a year ago). When she first heard they were moving up appointments, she called the office, Miss Piggy (who answered the phone) not only told her she was "farse" to seek a closer date, but insisted she could not travel on her existing, valid passport, after December 31.
Luckily for "Miss Piggy" it was not I who called or made the inquiry: 'firetrucks' in the raw would have 'buss she ears'. Incidentally, my daughter's appointment is for 2011...if she lives. To misquote CLR, this place not reactionary or stationary, it is in full reverse. Raffique
 written by Adanna, November 06, 2009
I thought that I was the only one who had this reaction when I read the article in the Express. The sad thing is, this doesnt end at the borders of T&T, it extends internationally. When I called in June of this year, the consulate in NY gave me an appointment for July 2010. And the lady was kind enough to remind me that if I wanted to travel after December 31, 2009, I needed to have the machine readable one. Helpful, eh?
But that's Trinis for you. We are content to let our 'government' spend millions on a flag (or rather the stand for the flag) while our citizens' basic needs go unmet.
 written by Dr L. Neville Roach-Lord, November 06, 2009
DeBigBri...Surprisingly, your commnent is extremely objective, rational and logical, I extend my appreciation to you. Compared with the diatribe usually written, the context presented revealed analysis rather than profiling. The people are suffering failure of enlightenment, not of darkness.
(I)Plus on append a connaitre l'homme, plus on apprend a estimer le chien.
written by Dr L. Neville Roach-Lord, November 06, 2009
BC knowing your fondness for William Faulkner...
QUOTE... He(the writer)must teach himself that the basest of all things is to be unafraid and,teaching himself that, forget it forever, leaving no room for his workshop for anything but the verities and truths of the heart,the old universal truths lacking which any story is emphemeral and doomed...love and honour and pity and pride and compassion and sacrifice. Nobel Prize speech, 1950. in Les Prix Nobel en 1950 (1951) p.71
written by DeBigBri, November 06, 2009
Doc, not sure I should engage you because you might not like that your points are logically refuted one by one and find yourself once more unable to respond and so declare the discussion closed. Sort of like, "The Prime Minster has spoken"! You're the diatribe specialist, I might rant, but my comments are never about character assassination - unless you mean that calling a spade a spade (or calling a duncy minister, "duncy"!) represents character assassination. In that respect I reckon I'll bask in Reggie Dumas' company!
My last post was no different from the previous one/ones you took exception to. And you apparently still don't get it - forums like this are for communication of ideas/experiences - why would anyone use a language other than the home language of the blog? But carry on smartly - some are impressed so your mission is probably accomplished. Oh, and I consider this matter closed!!! :-)
written by Dr L. Neville Roach-Lord, November 07, 2009
DBB...You have the tendency to make assumptions which I suppose is your ego postering itself. Nevetheless, respect your request. By the way, who speaks of victory? To endsure is everything. Do not dismiss my suggestion seeing a psychiatrist, before it is too late. You are defintely MENTAL!
Principiis obsta; sero medicina paratur Cum mala per longas convaluere moras.
 written by Edmund Gall, November 10, 2009
Folks, nationals residing outside of T&T have until 31 Dec 2011, not 2009. This was recently changed - see orange box on the homepage of the T&T Immigration Division website at http://www.immigration.gov.tt/
Btw, just as BC's passport was issued weeks after the stamped issue date, it appears that this info is not common knowledge, and was only posted on the website in Nov despite being decided since Sep 2009. In fact, I only learnt about it via a letter in the Trinidad Guardian from Mark Meredith on his ridiculous experience in New Zealand - they asked him to spend thousands to travel to London just so they could get proper photos! (Martin Joseph's boldfacedness has crossed the globe, yes) - see Mark's letter, and read his follow-up comments, at http://guardian.co.tt/commenta...ation-dept So far, knock on wood, the folks at the T&T High Commission in London are acting honestly - they stick to their advertised word of delivering your passport within 10 weeks of application (faster if in an emergency). Secondly, DeBigBri and Doc, take your fight outside. Being rude on someone's blog is like walking into their homes with muddy feet. I don't know your backgrounds, but if you're going to post comments with the title of "Dr", then this behaviour is way below that expected. Lastly, Dr Roach-Lord, I think I asked this before: I suspect there is value in the sayings/quotes/proverbs you frequently end your posts with, but getting them translated is a bit of a challenge. Can you post an English translation along with the original non-English words? When I try to translate them with the online translation tools, more often than not, your text contains errors and fail to translate correctly. Thanks much.
written by DeBigBri, November 11, 2009
I appreciate the referee's touch - no probs. But I'm not sure I agree with your analogy about the dirty feet or about this being BC's Blog in the way that you seem to mean. I may be wrong here but it would seem to be an open forum by its very nature and to owe its popularity (such as it is) to that mi casa-su casa atmosphere. But your point is well taken, I'd rather spar on ideas.
written by DeBigBri, November 11, 2009
I appreciate the referee's touch - no probs. But I'm not sure I agree with your analogy about the dirty feet or about this being BC's Blog in the way that you seem to mean. I may be wrong here but it would seem to be an open forum by its very nature and to owe its popularity (such as it is) to that mi casa-su casa atmosphere. But your point is well taken, I'd rather spar on ideas.
 written by bc, November 13, 2009
folks
staying with the dirty feet analogy, i'd amend it only by - and to - the well known trini standard: wash yuh feet and jump een! talk free, once you don't lose control...
written by Dr L. Neville Roach-Lord, November 14, 2009
Having read your comments,should like to inform you I do not involve in confrontations,rather ask questions dealing with issues as compared with personalities. However,when someone writes using derogative titles like NIGGERS and COOLIES, well I felt it proper to convey my objections to such remarks. Concerning ending my comments/replies in a foreign language, at times, requests are made for a translations, also, when one using a foreign language to convey a thought/idea. Presume the person is familiar with the language therefore reply in a similair vein. Nevertheless, assure you all future replies will be in English. Thanks again for your suggestions. The matter is closed.
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